We’re all GAY WIENERS!

Big news in the news lately: many states are making strides to be champions of marriage and equality. Gay winners, so to speak…or should we say Gay Wieners. Yea, we’re definitely going to say Gay Wieners. In honor of these Gay Wieners, Ladiez Home Journal is throwing a wiener roast for all the best policies, and YOU’RE INVITED!

Why are they wieners? Because it sounds a lot like winner and winners are always on the right side of history. Why are we cooking them up? Because everybody is a wiener when we work for marriage equality. Nothing says progress like a nice juicy hot dog primed for roasting over the fire of justice for all to enjoy.

Whose wieners are primed?

Washington is ready to roast. California has been taken off the fire for a hot second, then thrown back on. Lets let her cook for a while, shall we? And Illinois is just being placed on the spit now, away from the direct flame.

New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, and New Hampshire are all arranged on a platter with toasted buns, slaw, condiments and love.

Unfortunately, we have a pack of 43 hot dogs that are still cold and flaccid and in the dirt. So listen up, America, we can’t keep these hot dogs here forever. Mostly because it’s unhealthy and the chances of us contracting some sort of digestive e. coli, or should we say e.bigotry, is very high. 

(That’s Lady Liberty.)

To close: Wiener wiener wiener wiener WIENER