November 14, 2011
        tags: Harry Potter. magic. spells. exes. girlfriend. boyfriend. butterbeer. invisibility cloak.
LHJ Tutorial: Magical Avoidance Coping with a breakup is hard. But do you know what’s even harder? Coping with a break up without magic. Lucky for all of you, Ladiez Home Journal is starting a new business based solely on our magical talents and the needs of all those broken hearted and looking to move on in this crazy, mixed-up magical world. Ex Marauder’s Map This isn’t just your ordinary map. Sure, it’s got roads, highways and a compass rose, but it also pinpoints and accurately identifies the movements of all your exes. That’s right: keep track of exactly where your voldemexlover is this weekend so you don’t have to run into them accidentally. Ever. Again. It can even reveal secret passages—like that underground tunnel between your ex’s apartment and the grocery store that you never knew about but always wondered why he and his newest girlfriend always showed up at the same moment you were stocking up on jelly and pretzels. To wipe the map clean when you’re finished, simply use the spell: “Drama diverted.” FeelBetterBeer This lovely and tasty frosty beverage is perfect for those nights when you just don’t even want to remember that he/she/ze-who-must-not-be-named even exists. Alcoholic? Nope. But it is laced with a handy potion that modifies your memory temporarily to wipe out any recollection of all your exes. So refresh yourself with an icy cold glass, or warm the cockles of your heart with a mug from the foaming tankards, This potion will not work with anyone but ex-romantic connections. Trying to wipe out the memory of your sibling, boss, etc is a bad plan. Warning: It is essentially 24-hour brain damage. So use sparingly. Lightweight Jacket of Invisibility Frankly, it’s just cool to be invisible and the jacket is super lightweight and warm. You can just throw it over anything—very versatile. The Communication Filtura Sick and tired of worrying about receiving messages from Voldemort by owl post internet waves? Well the wizards at the Magical School of Google have developed a spell just for you. Trust us, it’s really useful and all you need is a little training. Even the first years can do it. Simply move your wand over to “Mail Settings,” flick your wrist over to “Filter”, and spell out “drk.magik.boi.69@gmail.com.” (He claims to have chosen it in middle school.) Then choose, “Skip inbox, delete it”. And abra-cadabra. Close sesame. Hooray. Note: This works for ex-lovers and Voldemort. (It’s a long story. It was a baddd breakup.) We have a pitch meeting with some magical executives coming up, so wish us luck. Or should we say LUCKIOSA!

LHJ Tutorial: Magical Avoidance

Coping with a breakup is hard. But do you know what’s even harder? Coping with a break up without magic. Lucky for all of you, Ladiez Home Journal is starting a new business based solely on our magical talents and the needs of all those broken hearted and looking to move on in this crazy, mixed-up magical world.

Ex Marauder’s Map
This isn’t just your ordinary map. Sure, it’s got roads, highways and a compass rose, but it also pinpoints and accurately identifies the movements of all your exes. That’s right: keep track of exactly where your voldemexlover is this weekend so you don’t have to run into them accidentally. Ever. Again.

It can even reveal secret passages—like that underground tunnel between your ex’s apartment and the grocery store that you never knew about but always wondered why he and his newest girlfriend always showed up at the same moment you were stocking up on jelly and pretzels.

To wipe the map clean when you’re finished, simply use the spell: “Drama diverted.”

FeelBetterBeer
This lovely and tasty frosty beverage is perfect for those nights when you just don’t even want to remember that he/she/ze-who-must-not-be-named even exists. Alcoholic? Nope. But it is laced with a handy potion that modifies your memory temporarily to wipe out any recollection of all your exes. So refresh yourself with an icy cold glass, or warm the cockles of your heart with a mug from the foaming tankards,

This potion will not work with anyone but ex-romantic connections. Trying to wipe out the memory of your sibling, boss, etc is a bad plan.

Warning: It is essentially 24-hour brain damage. So use sparingly.

Lightweight Jacket of Invisibility
Frankly, it’s just cool to be invisible and the jacket is super lightweight and warm. You can just throw it over anything—very versatile.

The Communication Filtura
Sick and tired of worrying about receiving messages from Voldemort by owl post internet waves? Well the wizards at the Magical School of Google have developed a spell just for you. Trust us, it’s really useful and all you need is a little training. Even the first years can do it. Simply move your wand over to “Mail Settings,” flick your wrist over to “Filter”, and spell out “drk.magik.boi.69@gmail.com.” (He claims to have chosen it in middle school.) Then choose, “Skip inbox, delete it”. And abra-cadabra. Close sesame. Hooray.

Note: This works for ex-lovers and Voldemort. (It’s a long story. It was a baddd breakup.)

We have a pitch meeting with some magical executives coming up, so wish us luck. Or should we say LUCKIOSA!

  1. ladiezhomejournal posted this
 

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